Cuckoo Clock Effect #7: Funny Stories

So yeah, I've been in school for a week now (and out of school. WE FINALLY GOT SOME CLEAR SKIES IN BEIJING!!!), and during this time, there has been some pretty funny things that've happened...

Cuckoo Clock Effect
(Funny Stories from Unexpected Moments)

On Losing Weight:

I was talking to a friend of a friend who was a housewife, and she told me about how she could never understand those "Americans." Of course, being from the States, I was curious on why she thought that way.

She explained that the other day, she read about a guy from Vermont(? was it Vermont?) who dated a girl for 5 years, and had known the girl since early elementary school through college, but due to their jobs in different states, they separated reluctantly. After they separated, he became very depressed and ate way more than he should and gained a significant amount of weight (we're talking like 100+ lbs here. Like A LOT). Finally, after 40 years, he found out that the woman that he loved divorced her husband due to an unhappy marriage, and since he too was divorced, they thought they should get back together. The man then lost 90+ lbs to get back with her.

She then asked me what I thought of the story, and I told her "well, that shows a lot of determination."

"Yes, yes," she replied, "but my first thought was, if you replaced all that weight with pork equivalent instead, how much meat would that be on the cutting board?"



On Software Recovery

My professor (of a class which I unfortunately had to drop) was talking about people who trick other people for money.

"But then again," he told us, "There are people that you actually HAVE to pay and appreciate. Like software recovery guys."

Of course, being college students who probably have all ran into this problem before, we laughed, and he stared at us and was like, "No, I'm serious! You can go online and check out everything about data recovery, but if you fail once, most likely, you're going to lose your data forever. Unless you're the FBI. So if you ever need that data, then you have to take your computer to a data recovery guy! Of course, you also have to take your computer to a data recovery guy who have SUCCESSFULLY recovered data before, because they can be full of theory, but haven't done sh*t in their life. In that case, they'll probably just talk at you and do nothing. Then there's a huge possibility you'll never get your data back anyway, and you would have waisted a sh*t-ton of money."


On The Sassy Little Kid

Ok, So I actually got a picture of this one (since I actually had my camera),
tho it's kind of dark, but AT LEAST IT"S A PICTURE

So a lady, her kid, a Canadian and I were talking about how teaching Children a different language (making them sit down for the lesson is hard, them actually learning things is another story). The lady then told us that her daughter is actually pretty good at english, despite how she couldn't sit down for a lesson. So, she turns to her daughter and goes (italics are in Chinese) "Lola, let's go to the  Shopping Mall."

The little girl nodded, and repeated shopping mall (I have to say with a perfect American accent), and the Canadian thought it was hilarious, and decided to ask "Oh, so you're going to the shopping mall?"

The little girl turns, puts up her finger and shakes her head and goes. "No, not shopping mall, it's ShOpping mall."

The Canadian just stared at her, and quickly apologized for pronouncing it wrong.

I laughed my head off.


But anyway, that's it for now. I'm gonna go back to paying attention to class.

~Cuckoo Clock.